Dunglish

I was zapping at dinner and I heard sibilant English coming out of the telly on the children’s news (ZAPP TV), so I sat down and listened. The whole discussion was about having elementary school children learn English at that level instead of in secondary school, according to some government report. The people opposed to it believe that there are more important things to learn and that learning English in secondary school is faster and more efficient than in elementary school.

That last bit is not true for three reasons: 1) The level of English is already not so hot, which is the reason for being on telly in the first place (duh), 2) in my native Canada, they teach a second language (English or French) at elementary schools to produce as many functionally bilingual children as possible. They decided this back in the 70s or early 80s when they realised that learning at secondary level was too late, 3) It is a fact that any language should be put into a child’s head before age 7, as everything goes in easier.

In front of an entire classroom of children and a television camera, the male teacher said “Please take in front of you your book at page 39.” This Dutchman claimed that his English was good and that the children learned good English from him. Dude, this isn’t English! And then one of his students, a little blond boy was asked how he would address the baker in England when he goes there with his family on vacation. “Can I have a bread?” he said.

Did anyone pick up on the fact that this isn’t English? Anyone? Does anyone check or do they just assume they’re brilliant? It’s nuts.

Another telly channel (RTL4) also did the same piece blaming the teachers and spared us the Dunglish.

Knowing how underpaid teachers are, I wouldn’t expect any less than Dunglish.

KFC, Follow Your Taste: Meltz from Gijs van den Berg on Vimeo.

I just saw this on television. I’m not a junk food eater (you are what you eat), but the combination of junk food and Dunglish is actually quite good.

So, do we think this is totally innovative or as cheap as the food its pushing? I know some people – marketing people – who looooove this kind of stuff. If only I knew why…

Have some Dutch people run out of ideas in their own language? That’s a scary question.

As mentioned in a previous posting, Congratulations wit yourrr occassssion – part 2, this television jingle goes “Congratulations, met je occasion, want een betere vind je niet” (“Congratulations, with your used car, ’cause you won’t find a better one anywhere else.”)

And it’s a rip off of a Eurovision song. What a coinkydink! Here is the link to that famous video site:
Cliff Richard – Congratulations. I so dig his get up. Yes, it reminds of ‘him’, too.

I need your help!

I saw and heard this advert on Dutch televison (RTL4?) for Tonny Keijzers auto’s (Tonny Keijzers autos) with some blonde guy (the owner?) singing something like “Congratulations met uwe occasion” (Congratulations on your used car). The Dutch word ‘occasion’ (yes, from the French adjective ‘occasion’ rather than the noun), rhymed with the English ‘congratulations’ when it shouldn’t, while the whole thing sounded like a hissing serpent trying to sing. The hissing refers to Dutch speakers who overpronounce the ‘s’ at the end of English words, instead of making it sounds like a ‘z’. I have this nagging feeling that since the AutoRAI (Car show) is over in Amsterdam that I won’t see it again (snif).

If anyone has any more tips/clips of what I know I saw at least once on Dutch TV, tell me about it!