Dunglish

This live TV Dunglish blunder I snapped yesterday reminds me of one of the first parties I went to when I moved to The Netherlands. Someone was trying to tell me they learnt something from all those American television shows on Dutch TV by saying that only Americans thought in terms of winners and losers (with just one ‘o’, eh).

Well, you were wrong.

This lovely find is from the Coffee Company in Amsterdam, a Dutch business that is thriving in part thanks to their English name, according to the owner in a television interview. What wrong here? It’s a literal translation from the Dutch ‘Probeer nu onze brownie fudge’, which is also wrong apparently, as it should be ‘fudge brownie’. (True, I never had one, but I did make chocolate chip cookies yesterday, which has no bearing on this post whatsoever).

Brownies have been gaining in popularity as a foreign treat just like chocolate chip cookies (there they are again!), muffins and bagels, which means using English to describe them. And again, I’m surprised that such a successful company can’t be bothered producing proper English having claimed that they do well with tourists in Amsterdam because of their English name.

(Photo: Caroline)

Merry Christmas Dunglish! ‘Feestfood’ is a play on words for the English ‘fast food’. When ‘fast food’ is pronounced with a Dutch accent, it sounds something like ‘feestfood’, which means ‘feast food’. So they’re comparing junk food to Christmas dinner. Am I alone in thinking that’s not a good thing? Or maybe I just like those musical-looking f’s. When ‘mac’ is pronounced in Dutch, it sounds like ‘mec’ because the English ‘a’ sound doesn’t exist in Dutch. And yes, it can get confusing if you’ve just arrived here and ‘pass’ sounds like ‘pess’ (ahem) and nobody warned you.

And now some party small talk I had recently with an employee of the city of Amsterdam. They told me that in 2007, the city will have its own expat wicket to help expats find their non-Dutch way around the red tape districts. I told them that I got my answers via the normal Dutch channels, although in the beginning, it was a painful experience. Then I asked them when a foreigner was no longer an expat and they said five years. I told him I had been here for almost seven years, so what does that make me? A critic, he said. Touché. I told him that’s what you get for letting my kind vote in the municipal elections.

(Link tip: Branko)

Oh my stars, even Dutch Google ads are in Dunglish… The road to hell is paved with ‘intentions’. I’m leaving the rest alone.

If anyone sends me a comment saying it doesn’t matter because it’s Dutch they’re teaching, I’m telling Santa!

Being a James Bond fan, I finally went to see Casino Royale in Haarlem and for the occasion, I splurged on some popcorn. Here is what I found on the popcorn box.

It’s close to English, but it’s in poor Dunglish taste. They even registered the word (yes, that’s right, one word – should be two) ’scaryshit’ as a trademark! Not convinced it’s a bad idea?

Imagine products with ‘coolshit’, ‘funshit’ and the likes… Dutch products… Dumbing down anyone?

This is a case where swearing in a foreign language is considered less offensive than in your own. Although their event sounds great, the use of bad language puts me off. This is again proof that Dunglish – no matter how shitty – seems to sell better than Dutch to Dutch people. That’s scary.