Dunglish

“Ikea, the international poster child of uniformity, might be expected
to have some problems with a marginal language like Dutch, but should
be eminently capable of producing decent English, you’d think.”

This document was written by someone in the Dutch office. Maybe the Brit was on vacation, maybe the boss got the Dutch secretary to do it, maybe they couldn’t be bothered to copy what Ikea stores in other countries use. Why is it in English, I wonder.

“As a result, while waiting for a delivery this morning I couldn’t help
but congratulate myself for “preventing myself from paying the
delivery costs twice”. I was similarly reassured to learn that “it
should be possible to carry in the products in a normal way”, while
blissfully “thinking about (…) little cabinets”.

Enjoy your Billy bookcases!

(Photo: Cornelis)

“Anyone who has explored the Dutch world of English-language communications has been forced to laugh or cry at how the well-meaning Dutch mangle our beloved language.

Whether it’s a government ministry website, a company press release or an advert for Liptons’s tea (‘Tea can do dat’), the Dutch can display a singular ability to make a complete mess of it. The culprit on this occasion was a half-page advert in today’s nrc-next, in which Erasmus University proclaims its Corporate Communications course among the best in the world. Amidst a plethora of spelling and grammatical errors, this advert offered readers a ‘unique peek in the kitchen’ of leading US corporations. If you speak Dutch, you’ll know they mean a look behind the scenes, but if you’re not you may wonder why a budding communications expert would want to inspect American kitchens, unless they were looking to switch careers. And these are communications experts….
Then again, if you delve deeper and examine the original text, you’ll find that this is virtually always as bad as the translation. Perhaps the Dutch take the same pragmatic approach to language as they do to food. It doesn’t have to be any good; it just has to fill a space.”

Source: Dutchnews
(Link tip: Fritz)

I just spent part of the morning checking words to see if they should be written with or without spaces in English, so I’d be lying if I said I knew the rules about it. I rely on my instinct. Sometimes, two answers are right.

At the DIY store
Woman: Oh look dear, a nice bath mat for the bathroom! Do you like this one?
Man: Geez woman, can’t we just get a shower mat instead? I mean, look at the price!
Woman: I think it’s nice, written in English and all. Very chic.
Man, shaking his head: I should have never agreed to put in that bathtub in the first place…
Woman: You should be happy I didn’t convince you to install that hot tub I’ve always wanted!

(Photo: Erik)

This is not Dunglish, it’s good! Bravo! What I like besides the fact that such a sexy joke would not be allowed into the mainstream in many English-speaking countries, it proves how relaxed the Dutch are about making such a play on words. I can hear someone in my family saying how dare they make jokes about something as serious as an attack and missing the entire point. It’s an English-language advert with a Dutch mentality. Give me more!

And at a time when this Dutch search for inventions programme can be seen on TV, this simple invention is a sight (sound?) for sore eyes.

Many websites offering technical products probably have good product descriptions (I wouldn’t know), but anything else often looks like it was written over a cup of coffee.

Some original Dunglish highlights:

- Bussiness = business (sound like a snake)
- fabricator = manufacturer (sound tougher)
- I like the word ‘antenna’ (AE) instead of ‘aerial’ (BE). They use a British flag for English, but also make comparisons between the US and the Netherlands. I don’t get it and it doesn’t matter.