Dunglish

This may look like English at first, but it’s Dunglish. Since it’s aimed at the Dutch market and was brought to my attention as ‘weird’, I felt compelled to point out a few things:

- It has short sentences that just don’t work in English.
- The second and third sentence are not really linked, a problem known in Dunglish as ‘the missing link’.

I could go on, but I’ll let you do that. I also feel like I’m back in the 1970s, but in a bad way.

They are cute!

(Tip: Yuri)

The Amsterdam tourist office just outside Amsterdam Central Station is a very busy place. With 1.5 million tourists a year, I’m sure they get all kinds of questions from the hordes who don’t have English as their first language.

You’d think that such an important point of contact for tourists would take English more seriously or have someone check it. This sign says ‘we don’t care, we’re fed up’. Sure, they get requests for public transport tickets all day long because the municipal public transport office is next door. Their frustration is delightful.

(Photo: Arnoud)

I’m still not on vacation and I’ll have a new camera at the beginning of August. The camera I was borrowing has recently died as well. It must be bad techno karma.

Original post and comments

These travel tips were translated into 11 European languages using Dutch as a source language. As for “Rum begging” (?!)(cockney?), well it’s suppose to be a translation of… let me look it up… “Gaan we raar praten?” (We’re going to talk funny now, aren’t we?)(still not great, I know). This travel guide bites big time. As for being macho (or boring, really), this is probably as good as it gets by Dutch standards.

It’s too hot to think straight here in Amsterdam (34 degrees!). Here are bits of Dunglish I had lying around. Yes, you have to take my word for it, but then some guy published an entire book of things he supposedly heard just in time to push it as a Christmas gift.

“Chamber No.” on a B&D related website for ‘KvK-nummer’ (Chamber of Commerce registration number).

“I hope to have informed you sufficiently” at the end of a letter from a major Dutch bank. It goes where the ’should you have any queries, etc.’ goes. It’s a classic.

“(name) is also throwing high eyes as a trance producer” (Thanks Remco!)
Have fun figuring it out, it took me a few minutes.

I also have a story for you.

When I first came to the Netherlands in 1999, I was ’summoned’ as all newcomers are to take Dutch lessons. I couldn’t prove I was going to stay here for more than a year, so they said I couldn’t have lessons even though I wanted them. Omar with a Moroccan accent told me that.

Yesterday, two women of non-Dutch origin rang my doorbell and asked me if I wanted to take Dutch lessons. Half way through their question, they smiled and said, “oh, you probably don’t need them as I can see”. I hadn’t said a word. They assumed because I was white that I was Dutch. I asked them if they spoke Dutch. They stared and said “of course we do”. I smiled and said “so do I – and I’m from Canada”.

That’s enough out of me for now.

Sure we understand what they mean. This ticket is from one of the parking machines found in most Dutch cities. These tickets are also in German and French for tourists. I can’t judge the German, but the French is fine: “The side of the ticket indicating the time must be visible behind the windscreen”. Hey look, a decent translation. Why is the English so bad? Good readable, my goodness!

It’s not the first time I seriously question this ‘international’ clothing brand. What’s wrong this time? You can’t use ‘exploring’ as an adjective; it’s a verb! The correct adjective is ‘exploratory’, and using that to describe a dress is a grammar no-no.

‘Exploring dress’ is perfect for the title of a book exploring clothing in general, but an ‘exploring dress’ is not English. Does anyone approve of ‘verkennende jurkje’ in Dutch? Just wondering. If you’re going to use English, look it up and explore the possibilities first!

I snapped this at a friendly lunch place on the Dutch island of Ameland. Although Schnitzel Stroganoff sounds odd enough in its own right, the use of ‘plate’s’, which is ‘plate’ in English with Dutch plural (’s), makes it Dunglish.

You’d think it’s for the English-speaking tourists, right? Nope! Ameland is a Frisian island, so after Dutch – or even before – the locals speak Frisian. Then there’s all the Germans tourists to think about. That could easily explain the schnitzel.