Dunglish

How to be creative with Dunglish! I love it! The Dutch “v” is often pronounced as an “f”. Broken English indeed!

(Photo and tip: Bram)

How they went from serving “various dishes” or “platters” to “plate service” requires some thought. The first thing that popped into my mind was a Greek wedding, where people break plates. Flying saucers (”vliegende schotels”) came to mind, but that’s pushing it.

Maybe “toy” (it could be read “toij” by smaller children, as a “y” is often “ij” in Dutch) is more impressive than “speelgoed”, but “appelmoes” (apple compote) is still more appealing to children in Dutch. Frivolous = English, familiar = Dutch. Food for thought.

The term “boys and girls” is fine for the rest of the world’s clothing stores, as the adjective ‘young’ is superfluous. You’ll find the ‘younger’ boys in the basement (kelder). I’d like to think they’re just naughtier.

The only thing ‘original’ about the name is the trade mark. Why do Croutons and “Kerstomaatjes” (cherry tomatoes) deserve a capital? My guess is this concept comes from Germany, as in Dutch, it’s wrong. Funny enough, this advert does use the Dutch “kip” instead of chicken. The name puts me off.

I have seen this many times, but never got around to taking a picture of it. Since there wasn’t a queue for the ladies, I finally had time. Willy is a big, friendly toilet paper dispenser.

These folks were simply too chicken to use the Dutch word “kip”. And why the capital letters for Chicken Lovers? Sounds like dirty bird to me. Too bad, the retro design is nice. In Dutch, goose bumps are called “chicken skin”.

Here are more travel phrases not to use when you’re partying on holiday. The affirmation “You’re a bouncer” has nothing to do with “uitsmijter” (bouncer, doorman), but apparently with “kanjer” (catch). News to me. The Dutch have one egg in the morning, not eggs (nor an “uitsmijter” which is also the name of an open face sandwich with three eggs), and the rest rolls off the tongue like an instruction manual.